Minding Kikie

unlike 30% of women on earth, i don't have an easy pregnancy. the constant nausea makes you feel like you're on a bad trip in a car with a terrible smell that makes you wanna puke all the time. you're just ready to get out of the car when another smell hits you, and make puke again. food.. well, i always have problems with food, i only like those junk foods, i don't eat rice, seafood, fish, meat, vegetables, well, sometimes i also wonder where i got my heavy weight :(. but i am picky when it comes all those things i put inside my mouth. and this pregnancy doesn't make it better of course, just the tought of food makes me wanna throw up. from the simple burger, or my favorite home-made-fried-chicken, or simply toast, can't do it! while i know i have to eat for this little person growing inside me, but man, never thought that eating will be tough. shoulder pains. again, i always have a sore shoulder, and i wonder why it becomes worse due to this pregnancy. and ...

Let's begin with: I am the mother type. I mothered every one. First it was my sisters (i practically raised these 4 kids since my parents trusted them on me), then it was (still is) my friends, even those who are older than me, and even those who resist on having me done this all the time, and of course, my husband and daughter. I mothered every one. I might be a control freak, but I don't like the word 'freak', so it's mothering then. From telling people what they should do to avoid those problems and troubles, to actually doing it from them. Anyway, I think I made my point: I mothered every one. Yet, when it comes to having a child of my own, hhm, I hesitated a bit. For whatever reasons I can find. Yes, I have Pia, and I love her, and the good thing about her is that I don't have to go through the grueling period of pregnancy. I said I am gonna have another one probably when Pia reaches 10 years old, because then, she will be big enough to understand and e...

Suatu pagi, dalam sebuah kantuk yang amat sangatnya, lagu ini diputar diradio.. dan Abangku bilang: "Lagu ini laguku.. buat kamu.." Aiiihhh.. Aiiih.. Kau begitu sempurna Dimataku kau begitu indah kau membuat diriku akan slalu memujimu Disetiap langkahku Kukan slalu memikirkan dirimu Tak bisa kubayangkan hidupku tanpa cintamu * Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku Takkan mampu menghadapi semua Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa Reff: Kau adalah darahku Kau adalah jantungku Kau adalah hidupku Lengkapi diriku Oh sayangku, kau begitu Sempurna.. Sempurna .. Kau genggam tanganku Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku Back to *

This is for the millionth time. I am in Love. Yes, L O V E. To the man I call Abang, or Papa, or Sayang. To my dearest husband. Yes, we used to have this constant irritation towards each other's daily habit. Him of my constant nagging, and me of his constant yelling. But that was when he was in the States. But, even when we have that constant irritation among each other.. I can't help but falling for him. For what he believes. For what he wants for himself with me and Pia. And the funny thing is sometimes, it happened after we had one of our stupid arguments. Now, he's back here. I was afraid to tell you the truth. But then, deep down in my heart I believe that things are gonna get better. And I am right. Things are better. There aren't any moments that I am not in love with him. Yes, in love. Not just the feeling of love you have towards your husband. But like, I am feeling it for the first time. He does things that made me feel this way about him. Without p...

Sejak dua minggu yang lalu, aku dan Abang sudah mulai beraktifitas bersama. Abang dengan kegiatan barunya sebagai ABG beruban di bilangan BEJ membuat kita tiap pagi bangun dan mulai beraktifitas sama-sama... dari jam 5 pagi man!! Entah kenapa rasanya enak banget.. siap-siap bareng, naik mobil berdua doang (fyi friends, Camat officially nyetirin mama doang jadinya..), ngobrol di mobil mengenai macem-macem dari yang penting ampe yang cuma ngetawain gaya anehnya Abang yang sok hip hop itu.. pokoknya damai tentram sejahtera deh.. Walaupun terkadang suka sebel dan bete kalo tiba-tiba dia ngotot gak jelas di jalan, atau kalau dia salah ngomong, yang bikin manyun 5 centi, tapi tetep aja semuanya selesai di jalanan.. dan di rumah udah beres. Dari awal nikah emang ngerasa udah nyaman banget dengan keadaan ini, dimana bisa jalan-jalan ampe malem tanpa harus berpisah at the end of the day trus pulang sendiri-sendiri, enak aja.. namanya juga udah halal kali yah.. tapi menurutku keadaan sekarang...

Akhir-akhir ini saya suka merasa serba salah.. atau memang sayanya yang sangat sensi kali yah dalam menginterpretasikan kata-kata yang diucapkan orang lain kepada saya. Saya sih maunya menyenangkan semua orang, terlebih lagi orang yang tersayang di dunia yang paling berjasa bagi saya di dunia, tapi kok akhirnya malah menyebabkan orang tersebut sedih dan merana.. :( Mungkin emang saya bukan anak yang baik, karena saya gak sabaran mendengarkan keluh kesah beliau, atau selalu berkomentar seadanya ketika beliau menceritakan seadanya, atau tidak bisa membantu beberapa kesulitan beliau seperti yang lainnya. Tapi itu kan tidak berarti saya tidak menyayangi beliau, tidak berarti bahwa yang lain lebih berbakti, lebih mencintai, kan tidak berarti seperti itu, saya hanya menunjukkan hal tersebut melalui tindakan yang mampu saya lakukan. Saya mungkin tidak bisa berlama-lama menemani beliau bercerita di kamar, tidak membantu beliau memasak atau membuat kue ketika pesanan lagi banyak-banyaknya, ...

I stumbled upon this email when cleaning my inbox. Good to read, I thought I put it here so my friends can read them as well. KITA BERTANYA: KENAPA AKU DIUJI? QURAN MENJAWAB: "Apakah manusia itu mengira bahwa mereka dibiarkan saja mengatakan: "Kami telah beriman," sedangkan mereka tidak diuji? Dan sesungguhnya Kami telah menguji org2 yg sebelum mereka, maka sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui org2 yg benar dan, sesungguhnya Dia mengetahui org2 yg dusta." -Surah Al-Ankabut ayat 2-3 KITA BERTANYA: KENAPA AKU TAK DAPAT APA YG AKU IDAM-IDAMKAN? QURAN MENJAWAB: "Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ia amat buruk bagimu, Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui." - Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 216 KITA BERTANYA: KENAPA UJIAN SEBERAT INI? QURAN MENJAWAB: "Allah tidak membebani seseorang itu melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya. " - Surah Al-Baqarah ayat 286 KITA BERTANYA: KENAPA RASA ...

what's with TRUE LOVE concept? Don't you think it sucks? You made yourselves believe that you got to love only ONCE in your GODDAMN life? I just don't buy that crap! It's hollywood stuff to make us go to movies! Stupid concept! You know, if you don't make it last with one person, it only means that it's not meant to be. Nothing else. It's ok to be sad after a while. It's ok to feel the hangover. But please people, no need to say that you're not gonna be able to love like that again! It's just stupid! Give yourself time to breathe and release the pain, but get on with your life already, find that someone that will make that heart beats a little bit faster than usual again, find that person that make the butterflies on your stomach fly again, chase that smile that will your knees weak. And when you do find that person, love him or her just as they should without hanging on to what you call TRUE LOVE. True love meant you are there holding...

sometimes, i forget that people can be evil. and can turn the words around as they'd like. this gives me chill.

Awalnya judul dari rambling ini adalah Musibah. Tapi entah kenapa as I began writing, kok kayaknya gak cocok yah. Kayaknya kalau musibah itu kesannya mengeluh dan lebih banyak tidak bersyukurnya daripada bersyukurnya. Sedangkan kalau cobaan kan kesannya lebih bijaksana, lebih mengerti bahwa semua yang terjadi itu adalah yang terbaik dari Allah SWT, dan pasti mendatangkan hikmah bagi yang mendapatkan cobaan itu. Dari awal bulan lalu, it seems that my family sedang menghadapi banyak dari cobaan itu. Allah SWT kayaknya ingin melihat apakah kita sebegitu kuatnya like we claimed to be. Atau justru Allah SWT merasa bahwa ibadah yang kita lakukan tidak cukup sehingga kita diingatkan selalu. Wallahualam.. Bulan lalu, Abah tersayang yang sudah bersama kita sejak kita lahir (this includes my mom) meninggalkan kita untuk selamanya setelah sebelumnya harus melalui those grueling days di ICU selama 9 hari. Kejadiannya sih tidak se-simple itu. Di suatu hari Minggu yang awalnya kita pikir akan menjad...

You're a falling star, You're the get away car. You're the line in the sand when I go too far. You're the swimming pool, on an August day. And You're the perfect thing to say. And you play your coy, but it's kinda cute. Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do. Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true. Cause you can see it when I look at you. [Chorus:] And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times It's you, it's you, You make me sing. You're every line, you're every word, you're everything. You're a carousel, you're a wishing well, And you light me up, when you ring my bell. You're a mystery, you're from outer space, You're every minute of my everyday. And I can't believe, that I'm your man, And I get to kiss you baby just because I can. Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through, And you know that's what our love can do. [Chorus:] And in this crazy life, and t...

My bestfriend is waiting for good news. Being the queen of meddle-in-everything-in-your-friend's-life, I am of course waiting with her. Excitedly as she is right now. Hopefully, we will find out soon whether it's real or not. And jump together with either news. :D

how hard it is to be happy with life? The answer should be easy, not only as in easy to answer but also EASY to be happy. Yet for me, this miserable bitch, all answer will be in the form of a shrug. Or a sigh. Why? Because for me, it's not an easy question to answer, nor it's easy to be happy. You know, again I said, it supposed to be easy. All you have to do when you're not happy is to laugh your problems off. Forget whatever misery life brings. Or simply to be grateful of what you have, instead of counting what you don't have. If I think straight, there are a lot of things to be grateful of. Those who know me close will be able to tell you all those things that I should be grateful of. I was raised in a strict, but very happy family. Loving parents. Great sisters. Financially? I never have any problems in getting what I want. Growing up was also nice, have many great friends, long lasting friendship with several of those people. In short, I have too many things to be ...

So Abang would like to have a blog in friendster <huh! what a copy cat.. heheh..>. Yesterday, he spent almost an hour doing that without telling me (yes, I was on the phone with him at that time).. He completely ignored me the whole time, and I was already getting irritated with the fact that he didn't say anything but 'Bentar Mah!' in the last half-an-hour.. At the end, he told me that he made a blog. I don't know why, but it cracked me up. I opened the page as soon as he told me the link. Voila!! The title of the blog was like "Nafasku.. bla bla bla", point is it's too long. Because it's already late in his place, I told him that I will make it shorter and change it around so it will be good to look at. This morning when we started our daily chats, he asked me the insides of friendster blogs. So I told him.. The blog is dedicated for MU..yup! Manchester United, the soccer club he is crazy about. The name itself reflects that. If you see the blo...

it's been a while since i wrote anything on this blog.. i want to write something good! let's start working.. :)

Crazy Crazy for feeling so lonely I'm crazy Crazy for feeling so blue I knew You'd love me as long as you wanted And then someday You'd leave me for somebody new Worry Why do I let myself worry Wond'rin' What in the world did I do Crazy For thinking that my love could hold you I'm crazy for tryin' Crazy for cryin' And I'm crazy For lovin' you