Minding Kikie

I realized today that just when you thought you had the worst luck, you'll see someone who has even the worst than your worst luck. I thought I hit rock bottom this morning. There's this knot. Why wouldn't it go away?! It's even worse today. Maybe it was because I had such a bad cough that I couldn't hardly sleep. Maybe it was because of it that I felt sleepy this morning. Maybe it was because I felt sleepy that I missed my morning prayer. Dang it! Maybe it was because of it, I have a bad mood. Maybe it was because I was in just a bad mood that I decided to comment on that stupid internet guy. Maybe it was the comment that made me even in a much worse mood. Maybe it was the mood that made me notice that my staffs just don't care about me. Maybe it was them that made me even sadder and made my mood ever worse. Maybe it was again my mood that made the knot seems bigger and bigger. Maybe it was the knot that finally made me cry today. Just when I thought I reached

Gue jenuh. Gue pengen pergi. Gue pengen berhenti melangkah. Gue pengen mengeluh seharian. Gue pengen ngomel. Gue pengen lari yang jauh. Gue pengen tanya Tuhan kenapa gue kok begini amat. Gue pengen tanya Tuhan kok gue gak bisa bersyukur. Hari ini gue jenuh. Gue gak bahagia. Gue mau lari. Gue capek. Gue capek. Gue capek.

Hari ini dimulai dengan Piedut masuk ke kamar gue dengan gedubgrukan seperti biasanya dan seperti biasanya juga, gue kebangun. Belum gue sempet ngomel, dia ngasih tauk sebuah berita yang buat hari gue sedikit gloomy hari ini. "Mbak, Bapaknya Kembang meninggal dunia." Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi Roji'un.. Ya Allah SWT.. Kuatkanlah Kembang hari ini. Kuatkanlah ia menghadapi cobaanMu ini di hari-hari mendatang. Mudahkanlah semua urusannya hari ini. Tabahkanlah ia. Sabarkanlah hatinya. Bantulah ia menemukan hikmah Mu. Iklaskanlah hatinya. Tunjukkanlah jalanMu padanya agar ia dapat menemukan-Mu, agamaMu, merasakan kasih sayang-Mu, Cinta-Mu padanya melalui cobaan ini. Seperti Engkau telah memberikan semua itu kepadaku dihari kelabuku 6 bulan silam dan hingga saat ini. Karena hanya kepada-Mu lah kami memohon dan meminta ya Allah. -For Kembang: the sun doesn't shine as bright for you today, but it will be. The pain wouldn't ever go away, but instead it will make you strong