finally.. positive!

Let's begin with: I am the mother type.

I mothered every one. First it was my sisters (i practically raised these 4 kids since my parents trusted them on me), then it was (still is) my friends, even those who are older than me, and even those who resist on having me done this all the time, and of course, my husband and daughter. I mothered every one.

I might be a control freak, but I don't like the word 'freak', so it's mothering then. From telling people what they should do to avoid those problems and troubles, to actually doing it from them. Anyway, I think I made my point: I mothered every one.

Yet, when it comes to having a child of my own, hhm, I hesitated a bit. For whatever reasons I can find. Yes, I have Pia, and I love her, and the good thing about her is that I don't have to go through the grueling period of pregnancy.

I said I am gonna have another one probably when Pia reaches 10 years old, because then, she will be big enough to understand and especially, to have the willingness to share the my undivided attention to her (she is even jealous of her dad since she thought I paid more attention to her dad when he came back from the states). I am saying all these things, while she's screaming and nagging all the time because she really wants a younger sibling.

Then I said, I can't have another child since I want to focus on giving Pia the best. I can't have two kids, where will I get the money if I have another one. While saying this, I can see people's sarcastic stares, since I have enough money to spend on those unnecessary bags and shoes, or even the excessive dine-outs.

Or I said, I can't take care of two babies, :P since I considered Abang to be my first baby. He's now taking his degree in professional chef so I can't deal having a baby with him in school. While he could care less about sacrificing anything for me and his children.

Well, I said a lot of things. And while saying all those things, I didn't notice that even though my body is experiencing all those things that happened to your body when you have your period (swollen boobs, raging temper, crazy mood swings, back pains, etc), the period never came.

I didn't realize that I was already two weeks late (trust me, I am never late!).

So, I bought one of those home pregnancy tests, and voila, positive. Not sure, I re-checked it again the next day, still positive. Still didn't trust those tests (or probably just trying to deny the so-called-99%-accurate test), I visited obgyn and yes, it's there. That ring-looking-creature is there is my stomach. It's been there for 6 weeks now.

Did I try to deny it? Nope. I tried to seem unhappy about it because of all the things I said, but I can't. I am happy.

Maybe because I am happy. Maybe I really want this kid. Or maybe I am just that mothering type..

I like to be a mom.

wish me luck with this pregnancy, friends.