An intro about Mom's cancer

 2009 was the the last post in this page.

Since then, another hole is formed in my heart. It is in the shape of my beautiful mother. I lost her in November. She has fought an amazing battle against cancer. 

We found out about her cancer since May 2018, it was stage 4 lung cancer, inoperable. I'll be telling the story of this in several posts, hopefully, about seeing the doctors to get second, third, fourth opinions throughout the 3 years, about the insurance that we didn't have, about making tough calls, about hiding the truth from her, about the money that we spent and how my sisters and I worked together for this. 

There were so many things I learnt in that journey, with her, with my sisters.

It was not her battle alone, it was the whole family. It didn't break us. It made us stronger as a family. 

I remembered when mom's condition got worse, but she still could sit at the dining table in her wheel chair already and had short conversation with us, she choked and said 'when I think about my daughters, incomparable. I am glad I have you Girls.'

It made us all cry, maybe because we felt it's nearing the end and realized we couldn't do much. 

At the beginning, many said it will be short, but thankfully, we had 3.5 beautiful years with her and the cancer. We had those years to dedicate ourselves to her and tell her how much we loved her. 

At the end, I felt like I have given the best I could for her, although I would like to have her spend more times with her grandson, but I have no regrets.

I do, however, miss her a lot. Another hole.


Comments

Bette said…
Hi sweetie, you have put “pen to paper” and wrote some beautiful thoughts on the love for your mother. That is what family is all about, sharing wonderful precious times together. Always making memories that will bring a tear or laugh when you think about those memories. Love you.
10:27 PM
Kikie said…
Love you Mom..
7:58 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mengenang Bapakku (21 Juli 1950 - 20 September 2004)

Kemarin genap sudah 4 tahun Bapak meninggalkan kita semua. Saya sendiri lupa dengan 'tanggal 20 September itu' [entah memang lupa atau memang sengaja tidak mau mengingat], sampai seorang teman mengirimkan sebuah sms yang isinya sih sekedar mengenang beliau. A simply great man in my life. Lalu, pagi ini saya buka email dan ada email Catatan Ramadhan dari Kak Hanni [thanks kak!] yang bercerita mengenai jihad-nya Kepala Keluarga. Jadi ingat dengan kisah serupa yang dialami Bapak. Suatu waktu Bapak pernah mengumpulkan kita semua dan meminta ijin untuk resign dari pekerjaannya. Karena he had reached his limit... Bosnya sudah keterlaluan dalam menghina Islam dan menghina Bapak juga tentunya. Akhirnya karena perseteruan akibat hinaan terhadap agama yang dipercayainya, Bapak ingin mengundurkan diri. Saat itu, kita semua bilang, we lived it up to you, and will support any decisions you made. But then, he never resigned. He said, it's my responsibility to give you a good life, and I&
Read more

The Wedding (The Invitation Part II)

The day was hot. The trip to the venue was horrid. Traffic Jam. Sunny. Hot, I can’t even feel the Air Con. Good thing I had my mom with me to talk endlessly about anything she found worth mentioning (which was everything). For once, I was actually glad she didn’t stop talking. The event was gonna be the end to a ghastly week. It would hopefully answer my endless questions about how I really felt about the situation. How I really felt about him getting married. Him. The love of my life. For the past week, my feeling has been changing back and forth about this. One minute, I thought ‘I am all right. I never really love him that much anyways’, while other times –most of the time-, I was just a wreck about this, I kept on thinking that this is really the end of my love life. I will never find anyone that could fit me the way he is. Used to be. Has always been. And will always be. Growing up I always have a clear idea of the type of a man that will fit me in every thing. That is perfect for
Read more