Uncurable Pain

I was just typing. Just now. Just 5 minutes before I started typing in this blog.

I was working on this presentation when suddenly I thought of my dad.
Something that I wrote in the presentation reminded me of him. I don't know what it is because if I looked at it again, there's nothing really that would remind me of him. I could not remember what it was that reminded me of him.

All I could remember is, I was typing then I wanted to tell my dad about the thing that I typed. So, I turned my head to my desk to find my handphone so that I could give him a call.

Then, I remember. He's not reachable anymore. He's not here anymore.
How could I forget that? After 7 months he was gone?

Then I looked his picture on my desk.
I still couldn't believe that he's gone.
Why? Why can't I remember that he's no longer here?

After I looked his picture, I felt this knot. This sudden sadness. Again.

He's gone for 7 months now, but..
I still remember the way he looked.
His smell.
His smile.
His laugh.
His big voice.
His advices.
His loving hands.
His way of eating 3 kinds of fishes every night.
His ways of making me feel good.
His jokes that made me laugh my butt off.
His expectations.
His love for my mom and us.
Well, I still remember every bit of him!

Why?
It's been 7 months.
The pains should be cured now.

But I guess it's not.

Cause now, I'm still crying.

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