wednesday morning

so.. what's up this wednesday?

my hubby still in america. darn! miss him terribly.. oh well.

i started going to the gym again this morning after a month break due to married and wanted to be with abang all the time.. heheh..

he left last saturday, finally. surprisingly enough, i didn't even feel like crying that day (so unlike the first one when i almost fainted because of it). the only time, i felt like crying was when they told us that his ticket was not yet confirmed so they had to put him in the waiting list. oh! i saw the dissappointment and sadness in his eyes, he's questioning why there are so many obstacles in his way to get his dream. i know he wanted this real bad, so i felt sad that day. i even wished that he wouldn't go home with me that day, because i knew he'd leave eventually. so, now or tomorrow wouldn't matter. i thought, the sooner i felt this pain, the better, so i can start curing, i can start getting used to him not being here with me, and so the clock will start ticking.. :)

so, it started. i'm happy for him. i really am.

he called me often enough, but any married couple would know that a voice on the other line is never enough!

his voice sounded tired, weary, sad, sick, everything but happy. he didn't even sound excited about it, that's when i know that no matter how happy i made myself sounded, i'm not. i need to be with him, because trust me, behind my happy voice, i miss him terribly, i want to be with him, just be there! like a family.

i don't want him to not like america, because it meant he would be unhappy, and that's the last thing i wanted, for him not to be happy!, but i don't want him to like it too much as well, cause it meant he would be there long, leaving me here by myself. duh.

if you guys read this, please pray for us. that Allah will bring us together at one place again. that Allah will bring us both success. that Allah will make us strong. Amin.

duh. i need him. i miss him.

ps: abang, wherever you are. love you. miss you. need you. wish you are here. wish you won't be gone too long. see you soon baby!

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