I am in Love..

This is for the millionth time.

I am in Love. Yes, L O V E. To the man I call Abang, or Papa, or Sayang. To my dearest husband.

Yes, we used to have this constant irritation towards each other's daily habit. Him of my constant nagging, and me of his constant yelling.

But that was when he was in the States.

But, even when we have that constant irritation among each other.. I can't help but falling for him. For what he believes. For what he wants for himself with me and Pia. And the funny thing is sometimes, it happened after we had one of our stupid arguments.

Now, he's back here. I was afraid to tell you the truth. But then, deep down in my heart I believe that things are gonna get better.

And I am right.

Things are better. There aren't any moments that I am not in love with him.

Yes, in love. Not just the feeling of love you have towards your husband. But like, I am feeling it for the first time.

He does things that made me feel this way about him. Without putting an effort.

My husband is a great guy. He's patient. He understands me more than anyone else. He gets me. He needs me. He wants me. He just gets me!

And I love him. More than I could've ever known. More than he thought.

Sometimes, I cry just thinking what if, God forbids, things happen and he's not in my life anymore. Too scary, I can't afford this.

I love my husband. I admire him. Proud of him.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mengenang Bapakku (21 Juli 1950 - 20 September 2004)

Kemarin genap sudah 4 tahun Bapak meninggalkan kita semua. Saya sendiri lupa dengan 'tanggal 20 September itu' [entah memang lupa atau memang sengaja tidak mau mengingat], sampai seorang teman mengirimkan sebuah sms yang isinya sih sekedar mengenang beliau. A simply great man in my life. Lalu, pagi ini saya buka email dan ada email Catatan Ramadhan dari Kak Hanni [thanks kak!] yang bercerita mengenai jihad-nya Kepala Keluarga. Jadi ingat dengan kisah serupa yang dialami Bapak. Suatu waktu Bapak pernah mengumpulkan kita semua dan meminta ijin untuk resign dari pekerjaannya. Karena he had reached his limit... Bosnya sudah keterlaluan dalam menghina Islam dan menghina Bapak juga tentunya. Akhirnya karena perseteruan akibat hinaan terhadap agama yang dipercayainya, Bapak ingin mengundurkan diri. Saat itu, kita semua bilang, we lived it up to you, and will support any decisions you made. But then, he never resigned. He said, it's my responsibility to give you a good life, and I&
Read more

The Wedding (The Invitation Part II)

The day was hot. The trip to the venue was horrid. Traffic Jam. Sunny. Hot, I can’t even feel the Air Con. Good thing I had my mom with me to talk endlessly about anything she found worth mentioning (which was everything). For once, I was actually glad she didn’t stop talking. The event was gonna be the end to a ghastly week. It would hopefully answer my endless questions about how I really felt about the situation. How I really felt about him getting married. Him. The love of my life. For the past week, my feeling has been changing back and forth about this. One minute, I thought ‘I am all right. I never really love him that much anyways’, while other times –most of the time-, I was just a wreck about this, I kept on thinking that this is really the end of my love life. I will never find anyone that could fit me the way he is. Used to be. Has always been. And will always be. Growing up I always have a clear idea of the type of a man that will fit me in every thing. That is perfect for
Read more

An intro about Mom's cancer

 2009 was the the last post in this page. Since then, another hole is formed in my heart. It is in the shape of my beautiful mother. I lost her in November. She has fought an amazing battle against cancer.  We found out about her cancer since May 2018, it was stage 4 lung cancer, inoperable. I'll be telling the story of this in several posts, hopefully, about seeing the doctors to get second, third, fourth opinions throughout the 3 years, about the insurance that we didn't have, about making tough calls, about hiding the truth from her, about the money that we spent and how my sisters and I worked together for this.  There were so many things I learnt in that journey, with her, with my sisters. It was not her battle alone, it was the whole family. It didn't break us. It made us stronger as a family.  I remembered when mom's condition got worse, but she still could sit at the dining table in her wheel chair already and had short conversation with us, she choked and said
Read more